a sad poem/letter to that person you love but can’t have.

well things are changing ain’t they.
i know for me they are:
i just don’t feel the same.
just can’t be as honest anymore
i fear it’d be wrong
or maybe unnecessary
to tell you how i feel.
my chest is heavy with the silence
of all the unspoken words
and I’m filled with questions
about how things are
with that girl who’s come back.
and i had expected this:
that upon her return
i’d be, i don’t know,
forgotten and neglected a little.
but what i didn’t expect
was that I’d feel so hurt
and so afraid of our friendship
crumbling to pieces.
she came and because of her
there’s a barrier between us
that didn’t use to be here.
I’d tell you i want you,
I’d tell you i want to kiss you
and stroke your cheek
and kiss the tip of your nose
and even your lips –
one day in the past i could
tell you these things.
it was ok to be honest with you.
nowadays all i can do is
swallow the words down,
let them sink in deeper into my core.
forget, forget,
and move on, move on.
coz if we ever had love –
and I’m not saying we did –
but if we ever had love,
i can’t believe it is over
so soon. and that your feelings
have so suddenly died.
i am a little or maybe even quite a lot
in love with you;
but i feel i am losing grip
losing faith in whatever
special thing it was that we had.
you’re not mine and you never were
and now you’re surely not.
i live with the longing
and the haunting thoughts that
every night you make love to
someone other than me;
even after … after everything
we’ve gone through already.
and all i can do when you
talk to me about it –
which is less and less often –
is to support you.
you say she’ll stay
i smile.
i forget, forget
(all the stuff inside myself)
and move on, move on.
i feel silly for thinking
things with her would be over
by now.
if only i could tell you.
but it is not right to do so anymore.
you have her, she has you.
i have no one,
but i dream of you.


Share your thoughts ...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s