15112015

you are so far away from me
and I, I must be so insignificant to you now
I doubt I ever cross your mind
I don’t think you miss me now.
I’m no longer the friend you once needed.
I’m no longer the girl you might have wanted
If I ever meant something to you
I guess these days, no more does it hold true.
I cannot reach out anymore,
my words are stuck in my throat.
How broken this stolen love makes me
and betrayed, and lonely.
I want to rejoice and share your happiness
that things are working out finally
with the girl who swept me away.
and as much as I try
there’s one thing I cannot deny:
I miss you, so much more
than I would have thought.
I never assumed you were mine
but I did believe in what we had.
In so little time, how much we went through.
At every challenges, together we pulled through.
I can’t help but return to those moments
when, shily, you took hold of my hands
and when you said you wanted to be closer to me
on our first night together.
when we sat side by side on the bench
Under the midday burning sun
and facing the lake, some minutes we spent
in complete silence coz no words were needed.
maybe i was naive thinking this would never happen
maybe i just wasn’t careful enough
but i know that in you, I found something
that i love and that i want.
and to know that, after all this,
you are enjoying yourself with another
it chills me to the bone.
do you not have a clue
what i might be going through?
and i long to tell you
i long to hear that in fact, you love me too
but now is not the right time
i can only suck it up and swallow it down.
and i’ll put on a happy face
coz it still makes me happy to see you.
but one day when al things are over
when she’s gone and again we are together
i’ll open up and let you know
that i too, went through pain and sorrow …

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