The things you’d realise.

I think if you read all the letters I have written you – the ones I never got to give – I think you would realise how purely I loved you, and how much I valued you, back in the day.

You would realise that although I may have acted in a way that suggested I wanted more from you, my goal has always been to be your devoted, committed and loving friend. That, whenever I craved for our friendship to delve deeper, I would remind myself that only Time would bring this to us, if it ever were to happen.

I think if you read all the letters I have written you, you would realise how much heart and soul and thinking I put into our friendship, and into my love for you. You would understand how seriously I have been taking you. How – regardless of the situation – I would never stop thinking about how good of a person you are, how kind and pure and beautiful your soul is. How you deserve the best. How I want to help you when you are down. You would realise that I have never, ever, not a single day since we met, taken you for granted.

You would realise that I would put my own feelings behind me for the sake of our friendship. That I respected our friendship so much, I never forced for anything more to happen. You would realise that most of the time over the past few months, I have been more selfless than I have been selfish. That instead of thinking of me, I thought of you. You would realise I attempted my best at never burdening you, never hurting and never overwhelming you.

In a way, it makes me sad, how you very likely are not even aware what I have given you. But I hope one day you realise all of the above; it might be the day you realise finding another girl who has been as devoted as me is difficult; it might also be the day I will have finally let you completely go.

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