Friday night – finally! Oh Friday, how I love you!! Well, this week-end surely looks busy enough but there is nothing like being on week-end anyway, even though I don’t really work or study.
Today was a busy day. Woke up, worked out, then I was off to a roundtable discussion at the university. It was about volunteering (issues with finding volunteers, etc). It was interesting enough. I just sat and listened, I felt too scared to say anything out loud and I didn’t really have anything worth saying anyway.
Straight after I took public transport all the way to the other university (the one near the city), ate some lunch, and went to the lunchtime concert that XXX was performing in. While waiting for the auditorium to open, I actually got the chance to see XXX. We hugged hello but he was in a bit of a rush so couldn’t talk to him then. He’d gotten a haircut. He didn’t seem particularly surprised to see me. But of course that doesn’t mean he wasn’t.
So then the concert happened. XXX performed two solos. My heart was thumping so hard in my chest when he was performing by himself. I really got nervous for him, yet at the same time I knew he would get through the performance completely fine (he did). During the guitar ensemble pieces, I really just stared at him. I got really absorbed into observing him and being in love with him from a distance. How he nodded his head and glanced at the other guitarists in the ensemble; and sometimes he smiled, and sometimes he frowned, and sometimes he raised his eyebrows – he was just so beautiful to look at. My mind literally went to a different place and then I came back into the real world and realised he was actually performing with other people (I had totally forgotten about everyone else).
Once the concert was over, I waited for him outside the auditorium as I had to give him the box of cookies. When finally he got out, we went to the café together and we sat on a couch. We didn’t talk very much. I felt so weird: so happy that I was with him again after so much time HOPING for it; a bit shy because I really wanted to reach out and touch his face or kiss him and poke at his hair; and also concerned because his mum’s gone and that is probably making him quite stressed. We didn’t talk very much, as I said, and anyway he had to leave after 5 minutes as he had an appointment. Before we separated, I asked him if he were free tomorrow but apparently he is “catching up with some friends”. HM. Who are those friends??!! Is it that girl 😦
I can’t help but think that it is. Although I guess he would said, “a friend”. I don’t know, I really don’t speak guy language, lol. Anyhow, I have decided to remain positive about the whole thing. Ok, I am obviously very much in love with him, and he doesn’t want me in that way, but at least we are still friends and he still wants to catch up. Let’s just try to be satisfied with that.
Came over after this and relaxed a bit before my student arrived. Taught for an hour, then did the ironing. And finally I was free to do things for me! 😀 I played piano – a piece I learnt in 2013 but it is one of my ultimate favourites. It has so much longing and passion and pain and joy, intense suffering and just all this emotion – it really fitted my state of mind.
Tomorrow I am going to the aquarium with Cutie Pie and his host family, and on Sunday I am going to the harp gathering (and I’ll be leading it! Yay!). WOOHOO.
And next week looks a bit like this:
- Meeting with mentor on Monday
- Picking up my mum from her appointment because she doesn’t drive anymore
- Rehearsal with XXX on Tuesday
- Teaching piano and harp Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday
- Rotary Meeting on Tuesday
- Rehearsal with the orchestra, and concert on Friday
- Volunteering on Wednesday at the Somali family
- Volunteering on Thursday at the care home
- Going to the Optus store with the Somali father to get his plan changed
- Strategic Meeting on Sunday
- Possibly a job interview on Wednesday
- Checking up on XXX and make sure his household is running ok without his mum!!
- And hopefully catching up with XXX
I love my life! 😀 I also have to do a plan for September for Cutie Pie!! Will get started on this now. Ihihihihi! Ok, long post.