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lol, when the title of your post is untitled …

Woohoo, today XXX and I FINALLY rehearsed. 4 days in a row we had to postpone it and I was starting to get seriously stressed and annoyed. The good thing is that XXX had practiced so we actually put one whole movement together, in fact almost two. Yay I feel a lot more secure and pleased now. How many days until the concert? 17, pretty much. OH MY GOSH. *Starts going crazy* I still have so much work to do for it!!

It’s weird because over the week-end I was like, crazy about XXX and was so excited to se e him but today just felt normal. Maybe it had to do with me being a bit annoyed from before. So nothing that particularly exciting happened. We played music, had lunch with my mum. I had to drive my sister to the beach so he tagged along. On the way he made a couple of sexual jokes, I couldn’t believe my ears. lol. We rehearsed for another two or so hours, had tea. We had a big laughing moment over tea, it was so funny. We’d calm down and then start laughing again. Such sweet moments! 😛 Then we played through the pieces one more time, and then he went home.

So that was it. I wanted us to go for a walk but he gave me the vibe he wanted to go home, so I just had to accept it. I think there are a few things he wants to talk to me about. I wonder what they are.

Oh yeah I casually invited him to celebrate Christmas Eve with my family, because he asked me what I was doing for Christmas. HMMM. I will be so happy but probably a bit sad. Last year he celebrated Christmas Eve as well, and he’d stayed the night … I doubt he’ll stay over this year … 😦

But enough of him, for the time being. Yesterday I saw Cutie Pie! 😀 So good to see him. I was on my way to Rotary when his host dad texted me and asked me to pick him up. So I went. We did the usual chit-chat on the way, saying very lame things about our days etc … During the meeting I presented him two new pins to add to his blazer (exchange students get an exchange blazer and over the year they get pins they attach to the blazer so we’re trying to make his collection grow!). Yay!! He also gave a presentation about his recent trip around the state.

After the meeting he came up to me and asked if I was taking him and I was surprised considering his host dad is in the club! But apparently his host dad had to give someone else a lift. So yep, off we went to my car. I don’t know how we do it but whenever we walk side by side we always end up bumping into each other. I think it’s mostly his doing tbh. So I drove him home and just before he closed the door of my car he told me, “stay safe and healthy” or something like that. Typical Cutie Pie :’)

So that’s my rambling for the day done. I should do the grocery shopping but I really can’t be bothered. Playing music for hours is so tiring!!! Even when it’s fun!!! My dad’ll be annoyed if the shopping hasn’t been done though … what do I do … what do I do … lol.

frustration + 1 bad thing i’ve done.

Yay I am frustrated. Because of a variety of factors, I guess.

Last night was my parents’ friends’ “Oktoberfest” evening. They have it in November because there are fireworks which we can see from their home. Anyway, I told XXX about it (of course) – we agreed to rehearse on a week-end day but I said we’ll go to the party instead, and play music there and promote our concert. In fact last year we went there together so I was soo looking forward to sharing my desserts with him. Anyhow he messaged me in the morning and said he couldn’t come because it was his dad’s birthday and he’d forgotten.

Ok, I actually happily let that one go. Maybe I wasn’t particularly surprised? I don’t know. I didn’t really mind it in a way as much as I had been looking forward to spending quality time with him.

We agreed to rehearse this afternoon at 3pm, but he messaged me saying he’d just woken up from a nap and was still feeling tired. Bah, great. Now that bothered me a little more. I think I just miss him a bit and I just, you know, want to see him very very much? It doesn’t help that he is always on my mind, plus recently he’s been in my dreams almost every night (in my dreams we always hug). Also because our concert is just about 20 days away and we still haven’t learnt three movements!

It was like the biggest disappointment ever but I’m trying not to get too crossed about it. Whenever XXX bails out on me it becomes almost like a test of trust. By that I mean I do have to trust his word, that he is tired, and not start to wonder things that may get me more crossed, i.e. that it has nothing to do with me personally. I don’t know how to explain. So I just keep on thinking that it is best he decided not to come over today, as the rehearsal may not have been productive at all anyway. Keep thinking positive thoughts!

The fact that I am more frustrated than expected might also be because of my younger sister who is really turning into someone I cannot stand anymore. Before I went to Thailand we got into a huge fight and we’ve had a few more fights since. These days I try not to talk to her. Every time she asks m a favor it gets me annoyed. She is the most selfish person I know, and so self-obsessed. I cannot stand people who are obsessed by their own selves, what an ugly trait. Yes I find my sister ugly. At the same time she does have a psychological issue but still! Whenever I am around her I long for the day to live in my own place. As soon as I feel financially secure, I’m moving out, no doubt about that.

I definitely wanted to share my rant to XXX this afternoon and I guess I’m annoyed that I couldn’t. It’s so annoying!

But I mean you can deal with frustration. You have to find constructive ways to deal with it. When I’m annoyed or in a bad mood I generally avoid people and conversations because I know I’ve got the tendency to make nasty comments or I turn a little snappy and careless when annoyed. So I don’t want to hurt people just because I’m feeling bad, it’s not fair on them. Therefore I turn to quiet activities I can do on my own, like cross-stitching or playing music. Although XXX isn’t here to rehearse it doesn’t mean I cannot do my own practice, and that would be a very constructive way to get over my frustration. I could get going with my uni application and even with the planning of my concert. There are loads of things I could do. It’s true I’ve decided to dwell on my frustration for a bit by writing this post but I swear that once I publish it, I’m moving on from everything! 😀

Apart from that, there’s one thing I quickly want to write about to prove to you I am not always as nice as I may show myself on this blog.

Last year this muso contacted me asking me if I could play harp for one of his concerts and I said yes. I only knew that the concert would be in November 2016. The rehearsals started in October of this year and the concert is tomorrow. Guess what. I have not gone to a single rehearsal, I have not looked at any of the music. Why? I don’t really know. A mixture of laziness and annoyance. The rehearsals were at this venue 40mins away from home. The rehearsals were Sundays, for 4ish hours. No harp at the venue means I have to bring my own. I am sick and tired of bringing my harp everywhere. It’s heavy, it’s annoying to get into and out of the car. Not only that, it is getting damaged from all the transport!!! There are dents into the wood of the soundboard 😦 I am tired of playing gigs for free (although this year I have refused most unpaid gigs). At first I told the guy I’d come to only three rehearsals instead of like, 20 of them, but came the day I’d said I’d go, I just couldn’t find the will. I just could not be bothered. No motivation whatsoever. And the same happened the following week, and today again. I feel so bad and ashamed and embarrassed, and that adds another layer to why I don’t even want to go there. Tomorrow is the concert and I have no idea what I’m gonna do. Do I just rock up? Apologise for not coming to any rehearsals? I have no idea :/ I think the coward part of myself is going to win on this one and I won’t even go to the concert … I feel soooo bad but at the same time …. I am tired of my harp-gigging life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe I have a bit of compassion fatigue at the moment …. I didn’t even know it was a thing until recently. Actually I’d never heard of it until last week. Then I heard about it everywhere. I have done so much volunteering this year, so much work and so much time I have given simply out of good will, compassion and love for humanity. I don’t regret any of it, no, but maybe my experiences altogether has impacted me in a way I’m not quite really aware of yet. I don’t know. It’s weird. The thing is that I don’t mind volunteering if it is MY choice (i.e. when no one asks me). As for the guy’s concert, he asked me and I simply didn’t know how to say no at the time, otherwise I think I would have 😦 I am too nice sometimes.

But then I didn’t know what I’d end up doing this year!! How was I supposed to know I’d feel this way and I’d be doing all these things, and that I’d get annoyed at getting gigs? Hmph, I don’t know how I was supposed to know.

Anyhow this was just to illustrate that I have done something very unethical and it’s not something I’m proud of, and I’ve got no idea what to do about it. I’m just tired of being nice, maybe …….

re-reading notebook of thoughts.

I’m the sort of person who keeps about ten-ish diaries at the same time. Each has its own little purpose which is why I use so many 😛 Anyhow, I have been reading the “Train of Thought” diary I kept last year, named so because I wrote in it whenever I was on the train (being a small-sized notebook, it always fit in my bag, so perfect to take on a train!)

The last three quarters of the book are mostly about XXX and I have to say there were a few odd instances and thoughts I had that, looking back on it now, are somewhat interesting, funny and special.

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3rd of August 2015 (less than a month after meeting XXX): Well, now I find myself thinking about XXX more frequently than I would like. Oh well, it will pass.

LOL as if it had passed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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8th of August: It’s funny, it feels like I like him already.

It was just a feeling I had :’)

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12th of August: Still, I’m looking forward to Saturday, now. Ah, I have found a FRIEND.

(An actual friend – how right I was!)

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14th of August: It’s funny but I pretty much could tell there was something genuine in XXX, too. Perhaps why I decided to be honest with him. Is it some sort of sensitivity? His general kindness instantly made me feel drawn to him. Not in any romantic way (for once) but more like clinging to a safety blanket.

Or maybe what I meant was connection? Emotional connection.

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20th of August: I am going to face my fears and open up and form a great, special, long-lasting friendship with this guy.

YES I have ….!!!!

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24th of August: Oh sweetness … my heart sighs in joy, gratefulness and happiness. I love XXX so much already. He is so cool.

Did I really mean that when I said “love”?

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But what’s weird is that I don’t really want to date him. Yeah I wouldn’t mind like going out with him but I don’t want to date him. Sigh, I probably just am infatuated by him 😦 But I am not in any rush to get anywhere. My goal is still clearly friendship and it will always remain so.

What I find interesting about this is my lack of desire to “date” XXX. Which has always been there and even now, even though I am still very much in love with him, I still wouldn’t date him. The thing is that we do go out every now and again, so in a way it is sort of like dating except it’s not because … coz we’re just together, sort of. I feel like “dating” has the implication that you are going out with a person to get to know them. Whereas XXX and I know each other really well by now so why would we date? But then why did I never want to date him?

The second interesting thing is “not in any rush to get anywhere”. I find that weird because sometimes we meet someone and we just can’t wait to start dating/having sex/living together, like you know, we just want to go through all the motions at lightning speed because we’re so much into that person. But with XXX it’s always been like, yeah I’ll wait for the right time to come. Let fate be in control of the relationship sort of thing. Just focus on being a good person, a good friend, and if there ever will be something it will happen. Trust it. It’ll happen organically. It’s a completely different mindset to my first (and last) relationship I had.

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I want us to be best friends because people end up marrying their best friends. […] The main reason I want to be best friends with him is that I need a best friend and I can tell he would/will/is a good one.

OK when I wrote this I had no intention of ever marrying XXX. I was simply making a statement. Maybe in 10 years XXX and I will get married and I will read this notebook again and find this sentence, lol. Indeed XXX has been an amazing friend (I cannot blame him for not being there for me when he was going through his own troubles), it is just cool that I knew back then already!

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25th of August: It’d be cool if he came over and we chilled in my room and he decided to sleep over.

My psychic abilities confirmed: the above happened a few days after writing about it. 😛

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26th of August: I think I seriously trust that guy and I ain’t scared of him. At all. 😀 YAY!!!

That says it all, doesn’t it. Trust. :’)

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I have the feeling we’re going to be spending a lot of time together in the future but not as an “item”, which suits me really just fine. And then people are going to be like, “are you guys dating?” and we’ll be like, “nah we’re just BFF’s”. LOL, my vision of the future.

That also most definitely happened. Not just spending lots of time together NOT as an item, but last Christmas when XXX was over, my sister’s friend did ask him if he were dating. lol.

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2nd of September: On one hand something tells me he is a great person and that we’d make a great couple; on the other I want to enjoy the purely friendship stage of the relationship. […] I feel so inspired to get this relationship working – properly. I really want it.

And I am inspired, every day!

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He is feeling lonely tonight and wished I was at his place. Funnily enough, as I was walking down th stairs I was thinking, “I wish I could go to XXX’s tonight”.

I think a really special thing about XXX and I is that we have similar needs and we sort of fulfill each other’s needs. Anyhow that was a moment when both of us were thinking about the same thing obviously.

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15th of September: I’m guessing we’ll just become even closer from the experience; because I definitely won’t be ditching him, and I don’t think he’ll ditch me either.

Yes my instincts were correct. XXX’s long distance girlfriend visited and we didn’t ditch each other and we became even better friends!!!

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19th of September: TBH we are going to become famous because everyone is going to love our music and also because we do make a good team.

Guys, it’s happening, it’s actually happening!! lol :’D

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SOOO I don’t know how interesting this post was 😛 But I guess from my perspective what I’ve found interesting is how soon I understood I’d found a great friend in XXX and how many things I thought actually happened.

i really can’t get out of love

Maybe I’m simply not trying hard enough. I don’t know.

XXX and I decided to meet up this afternoon and go for a drive around town to drop off some advertising posters of our concert at various locations. I changed my teaching time just for this. Just as a side note, it was (probably) my last teaching day at this school for the year and my student gave me a hug :’)

So I went to the shopping centre and got myself a salad, then I went to the music store and bookshop and left one poster at each of these places. Then I texted XXX to tell him I was on my way to uni (where he had told me to meet him). Two seconds later, he calls me and tells me he was on his way. Yay! 😀 So he picked me up from a car park except just as I got in and made myself comfortable he’s like, “I’m starving” so we parked and went for a walk looking for food.

He crossed the entire shopping centre and in the end he got three curry puffs from a small place. When he put the order in, I was like, “are you sure you’re going to be able to eat all three?” (he usually has a small appetite) and he was like, “watch me”. lol. So I was like, “Ok, I will.” We sat at a table, he opened the little take away box, asked me if I wanted to try some and I said no. So he said, “Good, that was the answer I wanted.” lol. So I watched him eat and he actually DID eat all three. As soon as he’d finished them, he went, “see?” and I went, “well you only finished them because you wanted to prove to me that you could.” lol. So that was lame and funny 😛

To my annoyance I started thinking about kissing him …………………. grrr …. I haven’t had these types of thoughts for ages but they are back to haunt me and make the friendship difficult again!

So then we left, hopped in his car and drove to a nice suburb which is quite cultural. We left a poster at the cultural centre building and then walked down this road looking for somewhere else to put up a poster. By then my feet were in so much pain from walking (I was getting blisters) so we made a small detour to a pharmacy so I could get some band-aids. We then sat down on a small wall so I could one on each foot. We resumed walking down the street until we decided there weren’t any great spots for our poster so we turned back. It was quite a hot day today so on our way back to the car we looked for a place to have iced tea or something refreshing.

We settled for a place called Little Cultures, they do frozen yoghurts, juices and smoothies. We ordered a watermelon smoothie and a mango & coconut frozen yoghurt, to share (of course). So it was really cool, just sitting there in that small, quiet little place, resting for a bit, sharing the same drink and eating yoghurt from the same little cup. It reminded me of that time we were in that same suburb just chilling after a gig, we’d just gotten a chai latte at this cafe and we’d just sat there completely in peace. I really like simple moments such as these. :’)

So eventually we got walking again and we put up a poster on a window where other posters were. Whilst putting up the poster I told him this funny story about my best friend and I that happened yesterday, and then we looked at my poster and how I look so innocent and angelic on it and XXX said, “we should add a thought bubble on this poster that says, “Eliza always talks about poop”. lol. FEEL THE LOVE.

Back in the car, we decided to go to the main CBD so off we went. We went to the church where our concert is going to be. I refused to get out of the car because my feet were screaming (my band-aids had fallen off 😥 ). So XXX went on his own, and he came back saying there hadn’t been anyone in the church so he’d put the poster on the outside of the church and he hoped it wouldn’t fly off because it was very windy.

Off we went, and we actually drove past the side of the church where he’d put the poster. To our surprise, two people walked by and stared at it for two or seconds! XXX was so proud of himself lol. He’s just so damn silly.

We went to the next suburb and again, he got out with the posters and I stayed inside the car.

I forgot to add but during all those short car trips we were listening to the CD “Together” by harpist Kondonnassis and guitarist Vieaux, to the works that we’ll be performing. XXX was even singing along and that made me SOOOOO happy because for a long time XXX said he couldn’t sing (I think he either didn’t know he could or he was too embarrassed to sing in front of me?). So I’m pleased he sings in front of me, obviously I like his singing voice 😛

Then we made our way home. Considering it was about 5.15pm, it was peak hour and we got stuck in a bit of traffic. But we listened to music. I changed the CD to one of his radio shows and he’d just get so excited about guitar music and the techniques and sounds in the tracks, like harmonics, or polyrhythms …. and he’d tap along on the steering wheel … lol. Meanwhile I was trying to listen but struggling because I was thinking about how much I am in love with him and how much I wanted to kiss him!

During one piece he was like, “listen to this!!! Can you hear it???” but whatever he wanted me to listen for only happened at particular spots in the piece. Every time they happened though I would be lost in thoughts about my longing for XXX so I would always say back, “damn, I wasn’t listening!!!” and XXX would just shake his head and laugh.

And all too soon we were in my driveway 😦 I hugged him in the car so it was a bit awkward but gosh I could SOOO TOTALLY kiss him!!!!!!!!!!!!! I might see him tomorrow anyway, for an actual rehearsal!!!!! He’s done with exams so that means we can now really get into rehearsals for our show!

OH man, how I love him!!! I think I am quite grateful for him, like for agreeing to be involved in this concert, and for today as well, it was so nice of him to come with me to drop off all these posters, I mean he didn’t have to. He’s so nice!!! I think being grateful really helps to love someone, like, it makes you realise how important and special they are in your life.

But of course I love him for plenty of other reasons, to do with who he is, how he makes me feel, how he has been my great friend, and most importantly what we become when we are together. All these things make me love him so very much.

I can’t help but question whether there will ever be any more than just this. I mean we keep saying we are just friends but what if in actual fact we feel a sense of commitment that isn’t a part of friendship? I’ve got no idea how he feels about me anymore. I’d like to know if he has the same friendship with another girl. Or if there is something special with me that isn’t there with someone else.

Some people say love is patient, others say that if a person doesn’t love you back, it means they are not worth it. It’s true XXX and I aren’t in a relationship but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me. Am I being too patient? Am I waiting for something that will never happen? Am I satisfied with the state of things now? Or are my emotional needs not met? No, the weird thing is that they are … So am I satisfied with friendship? Or do XXX and I actually love each other? Is there any difference between love and friendship in the first place?

Maybe not. Maybe there is only a difference between friendship and relationship. And in XXX and I’s situation, the only thing different between the two is physical intimacy. So who knows, maybe we do have love?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that makes me very happy, lol.

But yeah whenever I spend time with him it really makes me question how the heck I’m supposed to gt over him. lol. Well I guess if I ever do, it’ll mean it was never really love. I guess it’s a Time thing …

EXCITING NEWS

Do the capital letters in the title of this post convey how EXCITED I am about something really really awesome that I’m going to tell you about in 2 seconds???!!

For those of you who have not been following my journey for very long, in June this year or around that time anyway, my friend/massivest crush XXX and I recorded a track (in his bedroom!) and later made a video of it, which he uploaded to YouTube:

Fast forward a few months, XXX gets an interview on this community radio for a show to do with plucked strings (he was there with the rest of his guitar ensemble). He goes on to complete the training course at the radio and has begun presenting there for this same show, which happens every Sunday from 6.00pm to 7.00pm. He doesn’t present every week as they have a team of presenters so they rotate.

On Monday when XXX and I were at this guitarist’s recital, the main show’s programmer was there too and he told us that he’d play our track on the radio this Sunday.

So, I tuned in a little late but listened to the show. To my surprise, he started off by mentioning the concert I have been planning the past 6 or so months (in which XXX and I will perform solos, and duets together). I WAS SO THRILLED. Being promoted on radio is a huge plus!!! I hope that some of the listeners will now come to our show!!! It felt so weird to hear my name over the radio and thinking that hundreds of other people had also heard it.

The funny thing though was that he said the wrong starting time for our concert. I was chatting to XXX at the same time (and he was also listening to the show at his place), and he told me to call the presenter to tell him the correct time. So I called the station, spoke to the guy, and phew, he corrected his mistake! lol And then he kept getting XXX’s name wrong LOL. It was funny!!

But then the moment came when he played XXX and I’s track!!! It was soooo cool! Obviously I yelled to my parents to come and listen, so all three of us were in my room listening to the above piece of music that XXX and I had arranged completely by ourselves, and also recorded completely by ourselves (well – all XXX as he knows how to record and mix).

I got the biggest wave of excitement, mixed with pride, happiness … gosh I soo wished XXX had been around, I would have hugged him so tight!!! It’s like, woohoo OUR piece of work has been showed to the wide public – how COOL is that???!! Also, I felt – still feel – much enthusiasm and motivation to do more music with XXX.

Needless to say, the fact that hours of work and fun with XXX has been played on the radio made me love XXX even more than I did before, and also made me love being the friend and musical partner that I am to him. Really there is nothing like achieving something really awesome together. I haven’t felt the rewards of teamwork that much ever before. :’)

I was just chatting to XXX earlier tonight. In my few last posts I wrote about my career wish to become a community worker/program coordinator or something along those lines. That doesn’t mean I’ll stop playing music with XXX. Coz truth is, I won’t – ever!!! 😛 In fact he doesn’t even want me to leave him (YAY – it’s so nice when someone asks you to stay with them). The fact is that I both love community services AND playing music with XXX so I’ll see where these two paths will take me. Hopefully they will overlap each other more than they will dissect and cause me to make hard decisions …

I read this quote earlier today and I found it applies to my current thinking about my career so well. It is a quote by Rumi (found on this blog):

“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.”

thinking about the future.

During the past couple of months I have felt a bit of pressure having to decide what I’ll be doing next year. i.e. what I’ll be doing in terms of my career. To be honest I am very happy with where I am at the moment: I still live at home with my parents and sister, I barely ever have to cook (yay). I do a lot of volunteering (on average 5h per week), I do a little bit of work as a private harp and piano tutor and I get gigs every once in a while which also brings in a bit of money. I really enjoy the balance between paid and unpaid work, and also the balance between the time I devote to others to time I have for myself.

Obviously, career-wise things are a bit stale and stagnant. My only formal qualification is a Bachelor of Arts majoring in Music and Music Specialist studies. That isn’t enough to get me a job as a classroom music teacher. In fact this qualification isn’t really enough for any sort of job. Most of the gigs I get people don’t ask if I have any formal qualification, it is mostly through word of mouth. Anyway, I realised I don’t want a career in music. I do not enjoy sitting alone in a practice room for hours on end and I find the process of preparing for a performance tedious, long, and sometimes boring. Another reason why I like the small number of gigs that I do get. It’s just enough to get a good reputation but not enough to make a living and career out of it.

The past few weeks I have doing heaps of research into a possible career. In the most basic terms I could see myself as a community program coordinator, or community worker – in a broad sense, someone involved with the functioning and programs of a community. I have a high interest in refugees. I have looked at countless job descriptions to find what sort of qualifications employers look for. I have narrowed down my research to a dozen different courses, and am now up to the task of deciding which one is the best for me.

I am hesitating a lot between doing a Graduate Diploma and a Masters (of humanitarian assistance or community development). A graduate diploma is probably enough for me to get a job, and it takes less time, and it is cheaper. But the masters seems to cover more topics (unsurprisingly), and you get to do a project research, which I believe could be interesting. Plus, I know I have got the brains to complete a Masters, so why not expand and challenge myself in an area I feel passionate about?

So these are the questions I have been asking myself almost every day for a while now and I can’t seem to make up my mind. Perhaps I should ring the university and ask for their advice. Obviously I could do both courses: a graduate diploma first, and a masters second. But if I am to do the Masters second, why bother doing the graduate diploma? Oh, it just never ends …

Next year I will turn 22 which I think is still an okay age to be living at home with your parents. Nevertheless it would be nice to finalise some plans to move out, perhaps that could be a goal for 2018, as long as I can get a proper job that is. I could probably live on my own in an apartment. Having just glanced at some for rent, I would need to earn at least $300 a week …

This idea of moving out obviously makes me think about being in a relationship because obviously the financial side of things would (hopefully) make life a bit easier i.e. rent divided by 2. Who knows the relationships I will have by this time next year? All I know is that XXX really wants to move out as well and have his own independence … I cannot help wondering about us living together! Maybe we will actually be dating/in a relationship by next year. It’d be interesting … I doubt it’ll happen but I like to imagine. You know like living with XXX could be really interesting. It could be really fun but also probably a bit challenging. Obviously the best part would be sleeping with him, ehehehe …

So this was just me rambling on as usual 🙂

cat

this is an appreciation post for my kitty cat whose name is Pancho …

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we’ve had Pancho (and his brother Peter Parker) since December 2013 from memory … We got them when they were little kittens, they were soooo adorable. When he was young, Pancho was very clumsy and awkward. For example, he’d try to jump on a higher surface but he wouldn’t get there. It was actually pretty funny.

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The cats are now very independent. Pancho likes to spend time outside. In fact he often goes out at night and comes back home when my dad gets up. Then he comes into my room and stays the whole day sleeping on my bed.

Peter Parker is the most annoying cat ever, but I love Pancho more than anything. Pancho is mute so he is sooo quiet, which is nice. To communicate his needs he’ll come up to you and annoy you until you get up from your seat and let him take you where he needs you to go (i.e. kitchen to feed him or to the door to get him outside).

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Pancho is also a bit of an anxious kitty. Loud sudden noises and anything brutal/sudden/big scares him. To approach him, one has to be gentle & quiet.

I think Pancho is really a cat who needs his own space, more than his brother Pete. By that I mean that if you start patting him when he isn’t in the mood, he’ll move away. So there really is a right time to pet him, and you have to respect what he wants.

He’s the nicest cat on the planet, I don’t think he’s EVER bit or scratched anyone ever. He can be very affectionate when in the mood. Most of the time though he is just a super cute cat who sleeps on my bed (or under my bed), who makes no noise at all, and who just gives the most peaceful of companies.

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I love my cat Pancho very much. It is such a nice sight waking up to his little sweet face in the mornings (although I would also love to wake up to XXX’s face – lol). Pancho and I get on really well and I think he likes me a lot because he never runs away from me!