ramblin’ about love (of course).

Since my last post, the main event that’s taken place is that my beloved mentee, friend and host brother Cutie Pie has left as his exchange came to an end. I got the chance to meet his parents, who are both such nice people. Then on Sunday morning my mother and I dropped Cutie Pie off at the airport. They were quite tight on time after checking in so the good-bye was very quick, barely any time to register he was going and that I probably won’t see my sweetheart for at least one year, if not two. I shed no tears, but on the way home I had a knot in my throat. I was a tad disappointed that Cutie Pie hadn’t written me a good-bye letter as he had said he would; even though I was aware his last few days here were very busy with meeting people for lunch or dinner to say good-bye. But he made up for it because after his domestic flight he wrote me a nice long message over FB, pretty much thanking me for everything I had done for him this past year, and also expressing that he enjoyed my company. I have not heard from him since.

On Monday, his sister and boyfriend had arrived so I met them in the city in the late afternoon and showed them around. We spent around three hours together and it was so nice. They were at the airport early the next morning to join the rest of the family …

And so that’s the ‘end’ of my story with Cutie Pie for now. I cannot believe how fast this one year has gone. It feels like only yesterday that I was getting nervous at the idea of meeting him. I am so surprised how the Universe brought me and Cutie Pie together. Isn’t it so amazing? He came from Bern and of all countries he could have gone to for exchange, he ended up here in Australia; not only that, but in MY district, and in MY club. What was the chance of that happening! And it was weird how my club appointed me as his mentor when I had no idea what being a mentor was all about (but from the feedback I got, I did a good job). It really gave Cutie Pie and I the opportunities to bond and become great friends. And if anyone could see how we interacted towards the end of the exchange, they would know that we grew quite close in a way. Emotionally speaking, I still feel like Cutie Pie was very reserved – I mean, I never learnt any of his secrets (the things I am most curious about, lol). But he was definitely his real, authentic, weird, annoying self around me, which I’m very happy about.

I have started writing him a letter and I will post it in a few months’ time … I will aim to write to him every once in a while. He enjoyed my letters (I wrote him many).

As for XXX, he’s still in California, busy doing his things. I’ll be Skyping with him on Monday. YAY!!! I can’t wait until he gets back; life is so dull without him around!!

But in case you didn’t know, a part of me was very attracted to Cutie Pie because he is literally one of the most handsome/beautiful person I have ever come across. He’s so tall and his hair is golden coloured and soo smooth and soft; his face is like perfect —- his eyes, omgosh I am in love with his eyes. It’s really a shame I never got to kiss him. Oh also I loved touching his skin (does anyone else love touching someone else’s skin or am I just weird?), it was always so soft and warm (and my hands would always be freezing). One time we were watching a movie and Cutie Pie and I were sitting next to each other on the couch, and somehow I ended up sort of holding his hand (that’s right – we must have been fighting and neither him nor I let go of each other’s hand) and I just started stroking his hand gently … yes, I was slightly infatuated with him! And then a little later he started fighting me again to the point that he was lying on top of me, and I’d wrap my arms around his waist and hold him against me … (the maturity between us! lol). But on another evening, we were having dinner with my parents, and as usual Cutie Pie sat next to me and I’m not sure how it happened either but he started stroking my hand too, it was so sweet! An I remember thinking to myself, “OMG is he actually touching my hand???!!! ACT NORMAL!!!!” lol. And this other time he again fought me and threw me on the couch and threw himself on top of me and I held him down and then stroked his hair … in all honesty, I don’t know if he was just teasing me as a sister or if he was looking for anything more. I remember asking him (in the middle of a fight), whether or not he had treated his other host sisters the same way, and he’d replied in the negative. I don’t know why he treated me any differently. I’d wishfully assume my ‘special’ treatment was because he had something for me; but when I mentioned wanting to kiss him he had a negative reaction. Maybe he wasn’t ready for it? Perhaps in the future … Although it’s highly likely that in the future I will be dating XXX. But I don’t know, maybe not.
And what about the time he legit lifted me up in his arms? He was obviously trying to show off his strength … (but I was worried he’d break his back). I honestly don’t know if he ever — how to phrase — liked me in a romantic way. I wish I could know …

And there were times I felt so close to kissing him, too; that didn’t help with the crush. We were fighting one time and I was pretty much sitting on top of him and I leaned closer and closer to his face because I was trying to grab his phone, which he was holding out; I really could have kissed him then (it did cross my mind). One night I was playing piano (his favourite piece) and he came from behind me, and sort of bent over and looked at me and his face was so close that again all I could think of was kissing him (and I probably blushed). And that one time after a Rotary meeting (jeez, this goes back to last year!!!) where we kept walking closer and closer towards each other until our faces were like 10cms apart. But I will never forget how one time as he got out of my car, he said, “Kiss kiss” and even made kissing sounds, and I was like, *omg does he want to kiss me?????* like why on Earth would you even say that if it wasn’t on your mind!!! Imagine if he wanted to kiss me all this time!!! And it just never happened!! 😦

He did admit he wasn’t mature enough for emotional things … I’m not certain what he meant by that but perhaps that was exactly it you know, like not mature enough to act on his feelings for me? I don’t know.

Anyway, that’s enough ramblings – makes up for my lack of posting hey! I’ll miss my baby, my Cutie Pie, my annoying host brother, my mentee, my boxing coach, my handsome charming young man who has such a genuine, caring and loving heart inside …


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